Agression

Humans have a primate-like brain. It's the part which provides the pleasant feelings of belonging to groups. And vice versa, the stress of not being part of the group you want to be in. Hardly anyone talks explicitly about this, yet it's something that underlies all emotional communication between humans. Things work out well if a) the emotional system is understood by all members of a group; Signs of submission are followed by signs of approval of the leaders b) the leaders understand that they should use their power wisely, else there's much unrest within the group.

Sometimes a group member is not showing the right signs of submission. For example when he or she does not understand the way of the group, or when that person wants to oppose the current leader; A shift of power. With animals the last option is common, with humans this doesn't happen often, because most people tend to want to keep things quiet and aren't leader-oriented at all (the rational brain may say: everybody is equal, but the emotional brain just reacts if there are signs of approval and submission). The feelings involved in such situations can be tremendous. That's because relationships really are at stake. Relationships which may have long been good.

Leaders normally get their due by giving approval to others, but there's another method which (often automatically) shows up when things tend to get out of hand. That's when agression comes into play. Being furious at someone doesn't mean the person in question did something wrong and should not do it anymore. That's often something secondary, which people think is the real reason for the fight. It is not. Being furious means: I banish you from the group. If this is done properly, it causes severe distress. Even a human who is not actively aware of group-processes reacts to this instinctively.

Real agression is tricky. It can be locked up for years. Often just the fear of having to counter a leaders agression, shies you away from trying. Of course there are other ways of getting people lined-up for you mentally, but at a certain point you'll find the only way to get some leader really off his seat is showing your teeth. Becoming furious in a way that stirrs up a deep fear.

Something you do not know before you've done this in real life, is that the “leader” in question already feared you in some extent. This is especially true with humans. Like mentioned before, people are very afraid of relationships breaking up. They'll give in easily: If you want to be the leader for the moment, so be it, be the leader then. That's actually a really wise human reaction. It's the reaction of someone who has seen it before and understands what's happening. Giving in is often a good decision, because we're not chimps. If for example someone is smarter, that doesn't have to be interpreted as a full attack on someone's leadership. On the other hand, in the animal world, if some chimp grows stronger than the leader, his reign will probably not last long.