The Dark Side of Zen

In previous essays I said some rather nasty things about Buddhism. To a certain extent they may be true, but it greatly depends on the stance you take towards life and religion in general. Some statements are very true, but only from a particular position. Here's an example: Buddhism focusses too much on the compassionate aspects of mankind, and neglects the low and vile aspects of people. This you want to point out to someone who tries hard to be a “good” buddhist; Someone who thinks you can actually train goodness. On the other hand, other buddhists will most likely say this is not the right way to go, because the ultimate knows no separation. We'll get to that. In this essay I'd like to focus on the Soto Zen tradition, and point out some striking similarities between the two religions. To my opinion it is even possible to be a Satanist and practice Zen. On the other hand, this is a personal choice and certainly not for all Satanists, which is quite understandable.

As you probably know Buddhism is a “middle” way. This means ascetism is not going to bring you enlightenment. There's no renunciation of worldy pleasures. There's just the observation that such pleasures alone do not guarantee a happy life. Instead, even if you'd be able to fullfil most needs, you'd still be suffering. Perhaps not from breaking a leg, but from the desire to get something that's even better than all indulgences you've ever experienced. There's still a continuous craving for things you do not have at the moment, which doesn't seem to cease. Even if you have the things you want, so teaches Buddhism, you may experience your human condition in general as unsatisfactory to a certain extent.

Before I start I'd like to say I'm going to use a few concepts which may be used somewhat incorrectly, since I'm not a buddhist scholar. Let's start with this statement: All dharmas are fundamentally empty. To my understanding this means that the things you experience as a human being have another side. We usually experience them as steady forms. Eating an apple is most often different from eating a banana. At the same time they are not steady at all, because no two apples give you exactly the same sense experience. The sense organs have a certain biological structure, but they never react totally the same. There's a second reason why no two experiences are ever exactly the same. We assume it is ourselves who are tasting the apple. If this “me” would be a steady thing, every sensation would be a lot steadier also, because human senses just respond in a structured biological way. The point is, because our deepest selves are subject to change, our experiences are also never the same. You think you are eating the apple, but who are you?

There's a side to human experience which is quite unknown to humans. The human mind can be understood as the realm of total potentiality. Due to certain biological factors you become such and such (there's no complete freedom of choice, because then we'd all easily attain buddhahood), for example you are someone who likes rock-music. You may have built a self image which supports this interest. Logically, this implies you are not like someone who does not like rock-music, if you follow me. The point is, you have perhaps unconsciously chosen one thing and not the other. This is normal, but at the same time this duality creates an existential tension, an underlying suffering. According to buddhists it's wrong to identify with one thing. In reality you are the whole, so you give too much credit to rock-music and too little to that which is not rock-music. Especially in human relationships this behaviour becomes clearly visible. We like some, and are repelled by other people.

Well, before I make the mistake of saying you need to try to love everybody, I'd like to say a few things more about this hidden side of humanity; Satanists like to call it Satan. If you think I'm trying to transform Zen into Satanism, I'd like you to read this, which is one of the primary texts for Soto-Zen practitioners. Going back to my example. You like some people, and dislike others. It clearly stupid to try to like the people you do not like, and also you could go on being repelled by others as long as you want, but there's a third position; One of pure insight. To my opinion and experience it is possible to be aware of the amount of digust you have for somebody. People tend to focus on the pleasant experiences and push away the nasty side of social life. You don't have to, you can accept people the way they are, even if you do not like them. After a while this changes the way you experience yourself, because you're going to find yourself “dealing” with people you previously did not want to be seen around with.

This underlying nature is called Buddha-nature. It's wrong to say Buddha-nature “is” Satanic, but it may often feel Satanic. If you have a well developed character you know yourself in detail, which creates an enourmous gap between you and others. As I pointed out, there's more than just you. If you are refined, there will be grossness you'll have to deal with. If you are intelligent, you may find it can actually be helpful in daily life to let others believe you are not so smart. You'll have to deal with your own emotional responses to that kind of situations. It's possible to work with opposites, and it's good to integrate them, although you may sometimes believe you're going mad. Buddha-nature is all. It's the aspects you know of yourself, and it's the aspects you do not yet know of yourself.

For me an intruiging concept is “the Source”. The inner fountain from which all things come forth. Everything you experience stands in close relationship to the great vastness which is the original mind. The great ever changing Satan; which combines good and evil, and which causes the enourmous energy that is released by the play between purity and defilement. Zazen, the way of meditation for Zen-practioners, means you look with this grand mind at your own purity; At the things you have accepted yourself and which form your self image. Doing this for some time will give you greater awareness of not-you, which gives rise to inner strength and mental tranquility at the same time. This is easy to understand. You don't need to reassure yourself so much anymore, because you also have already accepted the things which are foreign, strange and Satanic.